nov. 20th

I've officially written more of this story than anything else in my entire life.

Forty thousand and two words, approx. 73 pages---any way you want to put it, this is more than I've EVER done before.

My closest nanowrimo attempt reached 40,000 words at something like 11PM on the 30th. It was nowhere near the end of the story---I'd barely even gotten to the beginning!---and there was no way I was going to finish it.

And now here I am, ten days from the end of the month and with only ten thousand words left to write, officially.

Of course, just like before, I'm nowhere NEAR the end. I guess old habits die hard. *grin* This also MIGHT have something to do with the fact that I JUST figured out that this story is actually a trilogy, and not one book. (Thanks a lot for giving me the heads up on that one, Siarl! I never expected the Fens to become such a huge part of the story!) This time, though, I really want to finish. And I'm just going to write through the years that will eventually be the second book in maybe five pages, and get to the important bits. I don't have enough time to properly finish it, but I'm going to finish it somehow.

That's going to be the hardest thing for me---I hate cutting things down, and there are so many character relationships I want to develop in that period. But you know what? I'm writing a novel in a month. This is a rough draft, and it's not going to be perfect---so I'm just going to make myself shut up and write at least a bare bones version of the ending. I can edit it later; I will edit it later. But dammit, I am going to finish this thing. This year I am going to do it.

And you know what? I'm completely and totally in love with my story. For once I am writing a story for myself first---and the writing is awful, truly terrible, and filled with dreadful cliches and I'm just itching to sit down with it properly and fix it, but---I'm crazy for this story and I can't wait to find out what happens. And in between all the gross bits there are some beautiful lines and characters that I love beyond reason.

I'm a writer, and for god's sake, nothing I ever do will be perfect---but this imperfection right here feels perfect enough to me, right now, and I'm really happy.

And wasn't THAT a cheesy line. :)

Edit: lolol the first time I typed this I wrote "nothing I ever do will be prefect". Ahaha irony.